She ALWAYS has to be Right!

I’m not sure if my daughter is the only 5 year old that absolutely has to be RIGHT…all of the time…but I’m thinking there are others out there.

For example: Potty in the Morning….I’ve explained to Etta that EVERYONE has to go potty in the morning, you’ve slept over 8 hours, meaning you have not gone to the bathroom in over 8 hours, and NEED to go in the morning when you wake up. She refuses to try to go potty. This results in me getting her completely loaded into the truck to go to school (already late), then as I shift into reverse, she yells “Mommy! I have to go pee!!” Then of course I’m frantically rushing to get her back into the house and onto the toilet.

This morning I tried something new. I BET her that if she got on the toilet when she woke up, she would go pee. I had just went to the bathroom myself and flushed the toilet. She then goes in…shuts the door…I can hear from outside that she is in fact going pee. Afterward I was waiting for the toilet to flush and I didn’t hear anything for a while. I peeked in and she was starting to wash her hands.

I said “See Etta, I won the bet and was right… you did have to go pee, just remember to flush the toilet next time.” She looks at me with this horribly angry face and says in a stern voice “I did NOT go pee….I guess someone just forgot to flush their pee down the toilet, it wasn’t me…I was right!” Knowing for sure I had flushed the toilet just before, and also had heard her going pee…I knew that she was trying to cover up the fact she was wrong…this is a constant struggle in my house.

Another example: Eating Over the Plate/Bowl….Etta has a real problem with getting up and moving around while eating, also sitting sideways in her chair at the dinner table. LM and I have repeatedly told her to sit still and put her plate/bowl to the edge of the table and make sure to eat over it, or there will be messes. She has explained her point of view (which she believes is right) that she can eat perfectly fine the way she wants (moving around in her chair, bowl/plate 10 inches away from her).

A few mornings ago, we were eating cereal at the table. I had already corrected her 3 or 4 times, asking she sit still, and to eat over the bowl. After being told by my 5 year old that she was “fine” and that she could eat by herself…and being told “leave me alone”, I did…I walked away from the table…not even a second later, she was out of her chair and on the ground trying to secretly clean cereal and milk off of the dining room rug.

I let her try to clean it for a while, then walked into the dining room to prove my point once again…as I was about to say “See Etta…this is why we eat over our bowl and sit STILL at the table” she blurted out “Mom, I don’t know what happened, but I think you gave me a messed up bowl because it just slid off the table…but just a “little” spilled…so that’s ok” she still continues to think her way of eating at the table is correct…and we still have the messes…

Last Example (although there are MANY more): Putting on a Coat/Shoes in the Morning….Every morning we get ready, I explain to Etta what the weather is like outside. I suggest what shoes she should wear, and whether or not she needs a coat. I ALWAYS get push back from these suggestions.

It’s 42 degrees outside, and raining..I suggest she get on her waterproof, warm, tall boots and put on her winter jacket. She comes back with dress shoes and a sweater on….Absolutely refusing to change into what I told her to, stating that she’s “hot” and doesn’t need socks…a coat…or boots. I decide to just let her learn the lesson herself. As soon as she opens the door, steps foot into the cold garage (which is obviously warmer than outside) she runs back in saying “Mom, it got so cold out all of a sudden, how did the weather change like that?! It was just hot out! I need my boots and coat.” Of course the weather changed….of course mommy was not right…of course she is the right one here….

I’m on the struggle bus with this child…it’s real…and she is always right…

 

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